>(Kimball runs off to the control room. He finds the device.
Crow: What device?
Mike: THE device!
Crow: Ohhh.
>It is a bit hot, but he manages to set it high and fire it in outer space. Outside, the monstrous hands wither away. Kimball runs off to the rocket ship. Meanwhile, back in the jungle room,
Corman: And yet another jump-cut slips by unnoticed!
>Neutor gets up from falling over only to find the natives surrounding him with clubs.)
>Neutor: No, please. I- I'm your god!
Crow: {Dr. Forrester} I'm the god, I'm the god!!
>I command you! Stop! STOP!!!
>(Jump-cut back to the rocket ship.)
Crow: 22!
Dani: Aw, man! And that's the one scene that would've made this worth reading!
>Kimball: This ship has been fused into the station. I'll need every bit of power to break free.
>(He presses a few buttons and pulls a few levers. Suddenly, the ship blasts through the hull of the ship. Back inside, Kimball turns on the radio.)
Servo: {sings} So, mama, mama I'm coming home. . .
>Fleet Captain: (voice) This is colonizer fleet to other vessels. Approaching exact coordinates in 30 seconds.
>Kimball: Come in, fleet captain. This is rocket ship H-56.
Dani: Hydrogen 56?
Crow: No, no, it's Rocketship X-M!
Mike: Now cut that out!
>Abort. Repeat, abort. Planets are unsuitable for colonization.
>Fleet Captain: (voice) What the-
Servo: --hell?
Corman: Nice save!
Servo: Thanks!
>wait, I have officer Howard with me. He'd like to speak to you.
>Howard: (voice) All right, Kimball. You've just ordered for a supreme officer to abort something? This had better be good.
>Kimball: I'm lucky I got away with my life.
{All laugh.}
Mike: You have a life?
>Howard: (voice) Where are Davis? And Stone?
>Kimball: (to himself) Poor saps. . .
Crow: Ooh, it looks like someone skipped sensitivity training!
>Narrator: But what did happen to the space station, floating away?
Dani: Do we care, guys?
Others: NO!
Servo: "The end"! Say "the end"!
>Only one man will ever know. . .
>(Jump-cut over to the spaceship.
Crow: They had to get one more jump-cut in, didn't they?
>Inside, Stone, who had been taken for dead, awakens and pushes the rubble off of him. He gets up and rubs his head.)
>Stone: (eyes closed) Funny. The ray must not have affected me, what being covered with all. . .
(He opens his eyes and immediately stops.
Corman: Because it's Hammer Time!
{The others snicker.}
>The villagers surround him. The dancers have strange bowls of exotic fruit for him. And at the front of the group, dresses like the other dancers, is Davis, smiling. fade out.)
Dani: Okay, who didn't see that one coming?
Corman: The end!
>THE END???
All: YES!!
Mike: Let's go, guys.
{Corman picks up Servo, Dani wraps an arm around her older brother, and all five leave the theater.}
{1. . .2. . .3. . .4. . .5. . .6. . .Dogbone.}
{The bridge is really quiet. Then, Servo hovers in, dressed in a uniform much like the ones that may have been worn by the characters in the script. Mike, Corman, and Gypsy follow reluctantly, dressed very much the same way.}
Servo: Okay, is everyone ready to do a spoof of today's experiment?
Dani: {off-screen} No!
Servo: Oh, come on, Dani! It'll be fun!
Mike: Well, I don't know, Servo. . .
Servo: Give it a chance! Please?
Dani: {off-screen, reluctantly} Fine, let's just get it over with.
Servo: Okay! Read the dialogue, guys.
Corman: {in character voice} Gee, we seem to be stuck on a space station in the middle of the Scorpion Constellation.
Dani: {off-screen} Scorpio!
Corman: Sorry!
Mike: {character voice} What do we do now?
Servo: {taking charge} We walk around until we find something!
{The four move around in circles, acting like they're searching for something. Gypsy leans over the counter.}
Gypsy: {in character} I've found something!
{Servo looks off-screen.}
Servo: She said, I've found something!!
{Dani walks on-screen dressed much like the Bellerians from Space Mutiny. She glances over her shoulder.}
Dani: Crow! Come on!
Crow: No!
Dani: {impatient} Look, I'm the one dressed like an extra in a Madonna video here! Get out here now!
{Crow enters, wearing a very shaggy beard and carrying a snare drum.}
Servo: No, no, no! You should have bongos!
Crow: Well, we don't happen to have any bongos just lying around, Mr. Smartypants! {notices the costumes} And you guys look ridiculous!
Servo: Well, what about you, Mr. Mountain Man Man?!
Dani: Uh, whatever. I'm going to change back into my jumpsuit.
Mike: I'm with you, sis.
{The three human crew members and Gypsy leave. Crow and Servo don't notice.}
Crow: Who died and left you in charge, anyway?
Servo: Oh, yeah, Mr. I Became Pure Energy But I Got Bored So I Came Back To A Lousy Satellite For 500 Years?!
Crow: Oh, yeah?!
Servo: Yeah!!
{The bots start fighting as the Mads' Signal begins flashing.}
{Castle Forrester.}
{Pearl doesn't look happy anymore. In fact, she is lying on her new couch with Bobo and Observer standing behind it.}
Pearl: And they just wandered out of the theater, like that rotten screenplay was no big deal!
Observer: I know, Pearl.
Pearl: Where did I go wrong? I sent Nelstone's sister up hoping that they'd make each other miserable, but they get along just great! I think they enjoy doing this to me.
Bobo: Oh, that's not true and you know it! They hate being stuck up there!
Pearl: You really think so, Bobo?
Pearl: You know, you're absolutely right! {sits up} We just need to find the right medium to break their will!
{She begins laughing maniacally. Bobo and Observer join in.}
Observer: Shall I end the transmission now, Pearl?
Pearl: What? Oh, yeah, you do that.
{End credits.}
Mystery Science Theater 3000 is copyrighted by Best Brains, Inc. All rights reserved.
>>>Stinger: All right, Stone. Keep gliding her in.